everyday i wait

everyday i see the lies

think I’m gaining weight

i can see it in my thighs

sleeping here beside

it’s better not to try

preforming lies

i’m only fucking skating by

this time just might be the last one

and i will cry

this time

and i’m finding meaning where there was none

so i will cry

this time

finding i’m alright

how to compensate

how to let go of their eyes

think I’m gaining weight

i can see you in her thighs

and i’m sorry

(found myself alone and shaking)

to repeat these words the same

and yet im sorry

(it’s getting harder not to try)

to impede these words with vein

and still im sorry

(found myself in words mistaken)

to repeat these words the same

everything’s falling

(it’s getting harder not to try)

please don’t fetishize my pain